THRANMANIA 1 (6-20-01)
The show starts with the Hardcore champ running his
mouth about how he is the greatest hardcore wrestler
in the TWF. Mike 'The Hardcore Genius' Thrawn's music
hits and he then tells Gunn that "..no one-and The
Hardcore Genius means no one- is a better hardcore
wrestler. Thrawn thens heads to the ring to get some
of Billy when Rhyno comes out and Gores them both,
then challenging them to a 3-Way C4 Hell in a Cell
Match for the Hardcore title. Thrawn and Gunn accept.
Next, Post Ericho comes out and challenges Hogan to a
TLC Hell in a Cell Deathmatch for the TWF title.
Before Hogan can answer, Goldberg and Gillberg come
out and the four argue untel Hogan says that he will
face all three of them in a 4-Way TLC Hell in a Cell
Ken Shamrock v. Albert
Shamrock gains the upper hand with a couple of
suplexes and a reversed superplex. He goes for the
Anklelock, but Albert makes the ropes. He then hits
Shammy with the Albert Bomb for a 2-count. Shamrock
then makes a comeback culminating in another
Anklelock. X-Pac and TWF Lightheavyweight Champion
Justin Credible hit the ring. Shamrock then becomes
the victim of an X-Factor, That's Incredible, and
another Albert Bomb.
WINNER BY DQ: Ken Shamrock
Smilin' Leon then interviews Post Ericho, who says
that he "GUARAN-DAMN-TEES" Hogan won't walk out
champion. Goldberg may get it, Gillberg might, and
Ericho says even he may walk out with the title, but
Hogan will become "..a has-been, brother."
TWF Lightheavyweight Title 3-Way Match
Justin Credible(c) v. Scott Evil v. Chicken Fries
Credible gets taken out early by Evil and Chicken
Fries' double team. Now down to them, Tresize pulls a
Hornswagglin' Hillbilly and splashes Scott 3 times(why
is he in this division) and gets a 2-count. X-Pac and
Albert hit the ring and take out Chicken Fries. Close
two count by Credible. Then Dr. Evil and Mini-Me hit
the ring and take everyone out. Scott then does a
Scotton Bomb on Chicken Fries for the pin as Evil
Empires holds off X-Factor.
WINNER AND NEW LIGHTHHEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: Scott Evil
TWF Intercontinental Title Impeachment Match
Loser never gets another shot at the IC belt.
What A Dick Cheney(c) v. George W. Bush
Bush starts off with the upper hand b/c he's too
stupid to feel any pain. He goes for an early
Presidential Piledriver(tombstone) but Cheny reverses
into (a surprising) huracanrana. After a comeback,
Cheney then traps Bush in the corner and hits with a
Shattered Dreams. Cheney then taunts the crowd as Bush
writhes in pain. Cheney goes for some knife-edge
chops, but Bush overcomes his testicular pain and the
chops with a Hulkamania-esqe superman comeback as the
fans chant 'LOSER, LOSER, LOSER' Bush then hits Cheney
with his own finisher, the Blow Job(Rock Bottom) and a
Presidential Piledriver for the 1-2-3.
WINNER AND NEW TWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: George W
A post match interview features Too Presidential(Bush
and Gore) celebrating the win with champagne. Bush
gives Gore encouragement in his 'Guitar on a Pole
Match' with Jeff Jarrett later.
TWF Women's title Match
Mae Young(c) v. Lita
Lita gets the early advantage with some armdrags and
Huracanranas. Mark Henry then distracts the ref long
enough for Mae to hit Lita with the hand that she
'gave birth to'. One Stinkface and Bronco Buster
later, Mae retains the title.
WINNER AND STILL TWF WOMEN'S CHAMPION: Mae Young
DDP then comes out and tells the Undertaker to come
out and 'make me famous' and tells the Taker that he
will FEEL THE BANG! The Undertaker then comes out,
saying that DDP should have never messed with the big
dog in the yard, and now he'll meet some soupbones.
The Undertaker v. Diamond Dallas Page
The Dead Man takes advantage of an early match
slug-fest to try to trap DDP in the corner. Page
escapes and hits the Diamond Cutter, which only gets a
Taker then proceeds to bead DDP's ass and goes for a
Last Ride, which gets a close 2-count. Taker is then
forced to give Page 4 more Last Rides before he can
get the 3-count.
WINNER: The Undertaker
Taker then grabs the mike and tells the FakeDick
Badass that he will hold off on beating the hell out
of the gimmick stealer. He then says that Kane will do
it for him.
Kane v. Steve Kennedy
Kane dominates the match until Kennedy hits him with
an enziguri. Kane then kicks out of the Badass
Boomstick(Kryptonite Crunch). The FakeDick Badass then
realizes that he can't win the match, so he grabs a
chair and beats the hell out of Kane's injured arm
with it. The Undertaker then comes out and gives
Kennedy the Last Ride.
WINNER BY DQ: Kane
Dynamite Doug then catches up with Goldberg, who would
only say: "I will walk out champion. Hogan-YOU'RE
NEXT!" before walking off.
Pee Wee Sherman then shows up on the ThrawnTron,
interupting an HW interview by criticizing him for not
going after Saddam when he had the chance, then
challenges him to a match for the TWF Television
Bush, then giving SNL more material for a skit, says
that "going after Saddam Hussein at that time wasn't
prudent" and then accepts the challenge.
TWF Television Title Match
George HW Bush(c) v. Pee Wee Sherman
Pee Wee dominates most of the match with Japanese and
Mexican wrestling moves that Good Old LN and Dynamite
Doug couldn't identify. Bush then goes for the Bush
Factor(X-Factor) which only gets a 2-count on Pee Wee,
who then makes a superman comeback that ends when he
hits Bush with the Bush Factor, ShermDrop
2K(Fisherman's buster), and the Burning
Hammer(inverted DVD). As the ref makes the 3-count,
Clinton comes out to break it up, but is cut off by
Dickless Dino, who was hiding in the crowd.
WINNER AND NEW TWF TELEVISION CHAMPION: Pee Wee
In a post-match interview, Sherman tells HW that "the
Burning Hammer hit his ass harder the any of Saddam's
Scuds!" Perry Saturn and Terri show up. Perry
challenges US Champion Bret Hart to a match and then
says "Does your name prove that you have no dick?" to
Pee Wee, who lays him out with a belt shot to Saturn's
head. Just what Saturn needs.
Ladder Match for the TWF Commissionership
Shawn Michaels v. Scott Hall
Expectations are high on this match on the heels of
the two great Razor-HBK and the Y2J-Benoit ladder
matches. After some fistfighting and climbing
attempts, Hall knocks HBK off of the ladder, who then
gets tangled up in the ropes. Just as another WM10
happens, Michaels gets free and knocks Hall onto the
floor. As Hall gets up, Shawn attempts a moonsault,
but Hall gets him with a chair he grabbed while he was
down. He then tries to climb the ladder but HBK knocks
it over. Unfortunately for the former Razor, his head
gets caught in the ropes. Shawn then climbs the
ladder, grabs the briefcase, and wins the match.
WINNER AND TWF COMMISSIONER: Shawn Michaels
Good Old LN then interviews Bret Hart, who accepts
Perry's challenge and walks off.
Gary the Fairy then interviews Gillberg, who will only
say "I'm sorry" to Hogan, Ericho, and Goldberg.
Guitar on a Pole Match
Gore comes out and tells Jarrett that 'the real
Tennessee Stud' will show him a thing or two. Gore is
the first to go after the guitar, but only gets a low
blow. Jarrett then hits the Stroke and goes for the
Figure 4, but Gore makes the ropes. He then goes for
the guitar, but Gore hits him with a backdrop from the
second turnbuckle, Jarrett's own Stroke and the Tax
Cut(Ax Kick), retrieves the guitar and busts it over
WINNER: Al Gore
TWF US title Match
Bret Hart(c) v. Perry Saturn
Not much to say here as Saturn lays down for a
confused Bret, who pins him and leaves.
WINNER AND STILL TWF US CHAMPION: Bret Hart
TWF Hardcore title 3-Way C4 Hell in a Cell Deathmatch
Billy Gunn(c) v. Rhyno v. Mike Thrawn
Gunn is the victim of an early Gore. This leaves Rhyno
and Thrawn open to fight for the belt themselves. As
Billy writhes in pain, they fight to the top of the
Cell, where Thrawn gives Rhyno a FameAsser into some
C4. He then gives Billy an Imperial Crusher(Stunner)
for good measure and the win.
WINNER AND NEW TWF HARDCORE CHAMPION: Mike Thrawn
Smilin' Leon then interviews Hogan who says, "Brother,
Hulkamania's running wild, Postamania's running mild,
and the Hulkster will prevail. Brother, they have no
chance of taking my title, brother."
TWF title 4-Way TLC Hell in a Cell Elimination Match
Hulk Hogan(c) v. Post Ericho v. Gillberg v. Goldberg
As the match starts, Ericho's prediction comes true as
Hogan gets a triple conchairto and pin. Gillberg then
pins Goldberg with a Spear. He and Ericho then fight
onto the top of the cage. As Gillberg is about to
throw Ericho off the cage, The Hardcore Genius hits
the ring and gives him an Imperial Crusher. Ericho
then gives Gillberg a Death Star through the top of
the cage and four tables stacked in the ring earlier
by Goldberg. Ericho gets the pin and the TWF title.
WINNER AND NEW TWF CHAMPION: Post Ericho
The show ends with Gillberg still lying in the
shattered table pieces and Thrawn and Ericho pulling
Austins with their belts.